Thursday, July 10, 2008

A Dragonfly of Epic Proportions

I so wish I had video of this. Bear with me as I try to show you with words. There is still humor to be found without video. You might want to grab some popcorn and Junior Mints. Dim the lights. Play the trailer. And now for the feature presentation...

We pulled into the garage late last night (remember I'm having difficulty with schedule right now), and there was something buzzing around the garage. Loudly. With great fervor. It was swarming the light at the top of the garage and looking rather large and ferocious.

As it stopped long enough for me to get a good look, I notice that it was a dragonfly. Of course, I say it out loud. With all three girls in the van still. They do have ears. They are very scared of wasps right now (which has everything to do with their mother freaking out about some wasps that were in the kitchen a few weeks ago, I am a brave one).

Miss A. says, "What is a dragonfly? Do they bite?"

I say, "Um, I'm not really sure." (I know, my mind is brilliant in clutch situations.)

Miss A. says, "How are we going to get inside? I don't want to go inside."

I watch the aforementioned subject fly around until he lands on the light again. Then, with stealth-like reflexes we scurry all three girls into the house. "Go, Go, Go, NOW! Hurry! Close the door!"

Oh, it was amusing! I thought for sure it would be gone if not dead in the morning based alone on the pure scorching temperature of the garage. I was totally expecting a fried dragonfly for breakfast. Totally forgot about it overnight.

Fast forward to after breakfast. I'm washing dishes. I'm hearing an odd thumping on the door from the kitchen to the garage. I'm thinking, "what is in the garage? Is my phone nearby in case I need to dial 911? Should I finish the dishes and act like I don't know someone is in there or run like the freaking wind to the other room, gather the children, and pray in the corner until help arrives?" No, I do not get anxious about anything. I have a very level-head when it comes to hearing noises.

I put the dishtowel down, get ready to run, and realize that the thumping has become more of a buzz. A buzz that I have heard before. Last night actually. The blasted dragonfly. How did that thing survive overnight? Disaster averted. I finish the dishes.

Fast forward again. This time it is lunchtime. (Our day revolves around eat time. I can tell you what time of day something happened by what meal it was closest to.) We need to buy diapers and then take Daddy some lunch. So we are all ready to go. Through the garage.

Yep, you know where this is going. My hand is on the door handle. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Miss A yells, "What was that? There's something out there!" No kidding? Ya think?

With no explanation, because I like to keep my children on their toes, I start to turn the handle. Miss A yells, "Mom, don't you even think about opening that door!"

I almost peed my pants in laughter. I might have if her face wasn't pale as a ghost at how scared she was! It didn't help her feel any better when I explained that it was just the gargantuan dragonfly from last night.

"I want to stay home. We don't need to get diapers. We have Pullups. Daddy can come home for lunch," says Miss A. Oh she gets her braveness from her mother.

I would have agreed if Miss O hadn't been pulling off the Pullups and running around naked lately. Clearly diapers were important today. How did we escape being held ransom in our house by a dragonfly you ask?

We went out the front door. The girls hid around the corner of the house until the dragonfly flew off. In their direction. Over their heads. Squeals of terror. Seriously, you would have thought a pterodactyl was heading straight for them.

Lunch was late today. Really late.


Heather said...

What is your deal with your fear of things that fly?! You should have just given the girls their nets and let them catch it for you. :)

Hope said...

Ummm, yeah, thought about that. The nets were in the GARAGE! By the way, it was the girls who were scared this time. We discussed the nets later in the day and I was told emphatically that the nets are only for butteflies!

Chandra said...

There is another difference between girls and boys. My boys would have been hunting that sucker down, putting it in their bug farm (oh yes we have a bug farm) and trying to research what they would need to fight a giant dragonfly. Poor Miss A., I can just picture her scared little face. Tell her Auntie C will protect her oh wait.....I forgot..... I am about as brave as mommy. Silly me.

Chandra said...

I meant feed a dragonfly not fight a dragonfly. Of course fighting works too I guess.